So I'm tired. I still have to complain, even though I may wake up with a more positive view tomorrow. Why does it feel like the kids don't want to be with me when they want to be with their grandparents? Or even just at their grandparents house? why do I feel so inadequate when they tell me that they want that one on one time with their grandma or grandpa? I feel like they shouldn't need anyone else but me. Nathan pretty much only wants me, but even now at age 2, he will say "I want Bam Ma house." And I think, what have I done wrong? What need of theirs am I not fulfilling that they want to go to someone else's house?
I should ask myself, what need do I have that is not being met when I feel so bad that my kids want some variety. They ARE at home, or with me somewhere MOST of the time. Why does it feel like they are rejecting me when they want to hang out with someone else for a while? I don't have an answer for that one right now.
I do know that I need to feel secure in my position as mom, and have no issues telling MIL that I will talk with dh about this, and let her know. I should also have no problem telling her that she is not to ask me in front of the children if they can spend the night. Well, the computer battery is dying, I guess I'll finish this later.
Weeks later, and I still have the same problem. It has more to do with my MIL rejecting me than it does the kids rejecting me... or maybe they are equal fears I have.