Scott Noelle's posts can be downright inspiring sometimes. I especially love this one:

http://dailygroove.net/presponsive

Scott is a homeschooler and many of his posts center around parenting while homeschooling. This one applies to those of us who send our kids to school. We may have to be even more pre-sponsive to our kids because we get them at the end of the day when they are tired out from a long work day and so are we.

Responding with love and compassion may be a lost art these days but many people seem to understand that it is necessary in their relationships with adults and forget that it's also important with kids. Please don't treat your kids differently because of their age. Kids have limits just like we do. They melt down just like we do. They have hard days just like we do.

When you have just lost it, how would you like others to respond to you? I want people to ask me what is wrong, maybe let me vent a little. At the most, give me a shoulder to cry on. Kids need that too. Don't categorize their behaviour as "disobedient" or "wrong" when they have melt downs. Comfort them. If they are being unreasonable there is probably a reason.

H.A.L.T.
I love this acronym as it allows you to assess your child's needs in a quick simple way. Is he or she hungry? Angry at someone or some situation? Lonely because they feel rejected or scared? Tired? All of these situations bring about behaviour in people that is "not desirable" to others to be around. We tend to belittle kids emotions as if they weren't as important as an adult's feelings and that is just wrong.

ASSESS AND ADDRESS
Assess your child's needs and address the issue. If they are tired, hold them for a minute and talk about what would make them feel better. If you are home, by all means go lie down with them. If you are in public, hold them, hold their hand, whatever physical or emotional contact they need to feel better in the moment. Have them close their eyes and breathe for a moment.

Pre-sponding to your kids needs can mean always having a snack on hand for little ones or even bigger ones. I take a snack for myself sometimes if I know I'll be out for a while.

Loneliness can devastate a child. Whether he or she is "lonely in a crowd" because they feel like none of their friends want to play with them in the moment or at school that day, feeling alone hurts. It hurts any of us. Don't take the road of assessing the situation your child is responding to and giving a reason for the other child's behaviour until after you have addressed your child's emotion. Validate him, tell him that you can identify with what he is feeling and you know it hurts. Validation can be all people need at times. You may know this from personal experience.

Tired... wow, the plethora of emotions that can overwhelm us when our bodies or minds are worn down from lack of rest. Being tired exacerbates all emotions and especially the "negative" ones. Please, please, please have compassion with your tired kid. You want compassion when you are tired... a child has less emotional reserves than we do, and we need to be the strong ones in this situation.

Our kids are precious and will be our caretakers as we age. We will look back with either tearful regret or tearful happiness at the times we had when our kids were young. It's our choice.