Chillin' like a Villin'

Wow. Today is my 4th consecutive day on haietus (did I spell that right? the word that means vacation...) Maybe it should be called a sabbatical, since I believe that the work of parenting is very spiritual. Hrrrmmpphh... I just looked up sabbatical. It means: any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.
I wanted it to have something to do with spirituality, since I am still exploring mine... :( Oh well... it still applies to me.

I have been napping, sleeping with a heating pad at my feet most nights in a soft bed at my aunts house. It is quiet. She is near 80, treats me kindly, knows how it is to have depression, having gone through it herself, and likes telling me stories about my family, clear back to my great grandma's life, just as much as I like hearing them.

It's good to just B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

I am taking walks, listening to podcasts, and sitting at the library for hours on end; reading...even getting to meet my husband for lunch, and browse stores for hours, taking the time to sit in demo massage chairs for longer than the store intends... :)

How much closer to heaven can you get than that? Well, actually, if I could hang out with my family at Kalahari with other unschoolers.. that'd be closer. See, when we're on vacation, it's not nearly so taxing.... but I digress.

This peace and quiet is something I should have been giving myself on a regular basis in small amounts, rather than waiting until I am erupting and melting down like a volcano who turns into a little candle who just keeps burning and burning, and eventually there is nothing left... the wax of Me has evaporated. And I'm just this wick, whose flame is flickering because even the wick is almost gone. So, before I just give up... I am taking this sabbatical.
I have to pause here. I have to process the analogy that just came out of my subconscious and through my fingertips. It is so true. I have burnt myself up. There will be no fast recovery, no triumphant comeback. It makes me sad. I regret letting myself get to this point.

But, Tally Ho, Rally Round the Family... The Matriarch will return.... eventually. For now, I will enjoy the serene (if not exactly my decorating taste) setting of my great aunts' pink, green, and white, ruffley and lacey home, and take my rest.