Reminiscing....

my busted snowglobe

A Poem by Eve Latchouli

 

the description of my feelings as i acknowledge my growth and outgrow my security

 

I lived inside a Hallmark card
I ate my chocolate treats and drank my high priced coffee steaming,
with security.
The cold could not touch me
I was untouchable.
I moved, I reminisced, I hypothesized,
dreamed, about the outside world -
in a snowglobe.
the clear plastic invisible,
I was real to myself, anyway.

Like contractions making way,
my mind worked, roiling, boiling
marinating in my truth
at first barely noticeable, then the excitement
built as I felt the inevitability of my
life becoming my own.

and now here I sit, the process mostly through.
My beautiful Hallmark life busted
broken plastic,
little pieces of fake snow running
out in the clear river that used to be
my security, my amniotic fluid
Mixing with my tears...
my coffee gone cold.
My truth gave me birth
I am new
wet and cold
The womb spent, no longer able to sustain my growth
I am me. I am whole.
My tears coming in waves now
the torrents of grief broken
with spots of hope.
Time to clean up the mess my birth made
and move on.